Parents who share custody usually have a set schedule. Frequently, parents arrange to work and handle personal matters while their children are with their other parent. The children may look forward to spending time with both of their parents, especially when one parent has more time with the kids than the other.
Unfortunately, not everyone allocated a liberal amount of parenting time makes use of that access. Some parents push for parenting time so that they can feel like they won or keep their child support obligations as low as possible. Then, when they actually have to show up and take care of their children, they may cancel frequently. Last-minute parenting time cancellations can cause a variety of challenges, including the three issues below.
Feelings of rejection for the children
Canceled parenting time usually speaks more about a parent’s priorities than anything else. However, children often feel rejected when their parents cancel time with them. Those feelings may damage the bond that the parent has with the children and may exacerbate the lingering mental health effects of the divorce. The more often a parent shortens or cancels their parenting time, the more likely the children are to develop a deep sense of rejection and possibly self-esteem issues.
Pressure on the other parent
A sudden cancellation means that the other parent must make themselves available to care for the children with little advance notice. In some cases, they may need to hire a babysitter. Other times, they may have to cancel their plans or even miss work. Canceled parenting time can create financial pressure and can damage the social relationships of the parent who has to assume additional parenting time.
Conflict between the parents
The parent who cancels their time with the children may later demand makeup parenting time. Technically, those who shorten their own parenting time usually do not have that right. However, they may become angry and aggressive when denied the opportunity to reschedule their time with their children. The constant disruptions of canceled and shortened parenting sessions can also generate resentment.
If there is sufficient documentation of unnecessary cancellations, it may be possible to ask the courts for a custody modification. Adjusting child custody arrangements can help prevent children from feeling rejected and ensure that court orders reflect the current reality of a particular family. When one parent doesn’t show up, their allocation of parental rights and responsibilities may need to shift to reflect that fact.