Holidays and birthdays are special events — especially for children. Parents often want to spend holidays and birthdays with their children. They want to ensure that their children enjoy themselves and make positive memories.
When parents share custody, access on special days can easily become a point of contention. Children may enjoy their special days less when they witness their parents fighting over the day or spend hours in transit between homes.
When parents make a plan, they can prevent conflict on holidays, birthdays and other days with special significance. Is it better for parents to alternate the holidays or to share each holiday with one another?
Every family needs unique solutions
There is no one specific custody schedule that works best for every family situation. What works well for one family may be less than ideal for another.
Alternating holiday schedules is popular for a reason. They give each parent time with the children on special days without co-parenting interactions that could spoil the mood.
Split schedules, where the children spend part of the day with one parent and the remainder with the other, can work well in scenarios involving lower conflict levels and parents who live close enough to one another to prevent travel from interfering with family celebrations.
People who are attempting to arrange effective shared custody terms may need to discuss different options with their attorneys and with their co-parents to establish a reasonable overall division of parenting time and authority. Planning for special events in addition to routine day-to-day life can help minimize opportunities for future conflict.