It can be challenging to tell your child you are getting a divorce. However, a few tips can help you hold a smooth conversation. And one of them is preparing to answer questions your child might have.
Here is what to expect:
Common questions children ask
Children often follow a particular pattern driven by anxiety and confusion upon learning about their parents’ divorce. Examples of common questions they ask include:
- Why are you getting divorced?
- Is this my fault?
- Do you still love each other?
- Will you get back together?
- What if I don’t want you to get a divorce?
- Where will I live?
- Will I have to move/transfer schools?
- Will I still see both of you?
- Can I keep my pet?
- Can I still see my friends?
Children ask these questions to make sense of the news they have just received and to get a picture of their new life.
How should you answer your child’s questions?
It’s vital to provide age-appropriate answers. Teenagers can understand more complex matters than younger children. If your child is young, consider using simple language and repeatedly explaining things. Also, constantly reassure your child that they are not to blame for the divorce and that you both love them.
Additionally, be honest. Provide direct answers gently to avoid giving false hope about getting back together. If you don’t have an answer to a question, say so. For instance, when they ask about where they will live while you are still creating a parenting plan, let them know you are working on it and will provide an answer as soon as possible.
Being prepared before talking to your child about divorce allows you to provide clarity, which can reduce anxiety. Learn more about other steps to take to protect your child in this new reality.